The mother of a blended family, who expressed her disapproval of the woman her son wants to marry, went to Reddit and begged users for advice.
The mother expressed her concern, saying she is “sick and angry” that her son is marrying a girl he played with as a toddler in daycare.
And although she loves her son’s wife, she refuses to give her blessing to the couple, who have been stepsiblings since they were around four years old.
Keep reading to find out why this woman is so concerned about her son’s future wife!
A woman, desperate for advice, shared her story on the ‘Am I the A**hole’ subreddit, in which she describes a complicated situation regarding her son and the woman he loves.
The woman explains that Nathan, at the age of two, attended daycare with a little girl named Abby. Abby had been abandoned by her biological mother and entrusted to the care of her father, Jack.
Stepparenting
“Jack was one of the only other single parents there,” writes the original poster (OP). Over time, she and Jack developed a close bond. “[We] ultimately dated for a year and a half before marrying, and less than a year later, we had our daughter Eliza.”
While enduring the emotional complexity of stepparenting, the author states that she and her husband adopted each other’s child and raised three children together, reminding each child of their valuable position within the family.
The OP writes: “Though they knew Nathan had a different father and Abby had a different mother, we had never thought about whether they saw each other as siblings.”
Deep bond
Apparently, the blended family situation allowed Nathan and Abby to develop a deep bond that went beyond brother and sister.
“Abby and Nathan asked Jack and me to sit down and said they had something important to tell us. Abby started talking about how she and Jack had been in a romantic relationship over the last few years. She said it happened when both were already adults, that they had gone to relationship therapy when it started, and that they were seriously considering marriage,” the writer recounts, later adding that the therapist did not know they were brother and sister.
She continues: “Nathan then told us that as teenagers they had admitted to having feelings for each other, but had never acted on it because they were afraid of ruining their friendship, hurting each other, and especially what we would think.”
Divided family
Unfortunately, the parents had divided reactions.
When Jack noticed that Nathan and Abby “looked happy together,” he apologized to the children for keeping them apart, then “took my hand and hugged our kids.”
Meanwhile, the mother – shocked by the news – “simply got up and left.”
“My husband is right, they do look happy together. In fact, I’ve never seen my son or daughter so happy. But I just can’t accept this. I didn’t respond to their messages or calls, and pretended I wasn’t home when they came to visit during the day.”
In addition to her crumbling relationship with her son and stepdaughter, the woman says that since the confession, she has reached an impasse with her husband.
Denial and argument
“I’ve been arguing with Jack since this happened. I even told him that, if it were up to me, they will never have my blessing. Plus, I would put them both in therapy because they have incestuous desires. This really upset him, and the arguing got so bad that I had him sleep in the guest house,” she states.
In response to her criticism of the intimate relationship between her son and (step)daughter, the woman says Jack called her a “bad mother” and threatened with a divorce. He said he would fight for “full custody of Eliza (their 17-year-old daughter) and how I would have a hard time if I didn’t accept our children.”
She adds: “I’ve never fought with my husband. I have no idea how to handle this. Every time I think about it, their entire relationship makes me sick and angry. That being said, I know I’m hurting my children. I know I’m hurting my husband.”
Before asking Redditors “AITA because I refuse to accept my son’s relationship with his stepsister?” the woman shares that the family is communicating again and going to therapy in hopes of finding a peaceful resolution.
Amazement all around
The majority of Redditors support the mother’s disapproval and suggest that her children’s relationship is akin to incest.
“Both my siblings and I are adopted, and every time someone says ‘they are not biologically related so technically it’s not incest,’ I want to vomit a little,” writes one Redditor.
A second acknowledges the disturbing fact shared by the mother. “Nathan and Abby were raised as siblings since they were toddlers and have a sister not much younger than them…They were raised as siblings, and even though they don’t share blood, they do share a sister. I think your reaction is completely normal and justified.”
Meanwhile, others pondered the impact their relationship would have on their younger sister Eliza.
“Can you imagine your Eliza in the future? ‘Yes, my biological brother and my biological sister are married.’ That’s crappy for her,” offers a third netizen.
Another cyberfan suggests that Jack is the a**h***: “Even though she worked through it and eventually accepted it, I’m still amazed that the husband was like ‘yup, this is normal and if you don’t accept it by morning there will be a divorce’.”
What advice would you give this mother? Share your thoughts with us and then share this story to hear what others have to say!
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